First and foremost, I’d like to thank everyone who has come through and checked out the page. You coulda been anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me and so and so forth. Let’s get down to it though.
I need all the fanboys to kind of exit the room so’s that I can speak to all the newcomers in the comic book world. I’ll wait for you to leave….. I’m looking at you guy in the Flash t-shirt. Get’s tha steppin’!!! Ok, he’s gone now.
The rest of you look really good! You guys look too good actually. You look like you don’t spend way too much time indoors following the adventures of grown men who wear their underwear over their tights. We need to fix this ASAP!!!
I get it kid. You let your comic geek friend take you to one of those fancy schmancy (or is it shmancy) big budget comic films and now you’re kinda curious about this whole comic book thing. So you secretly came to the comic book shop and now you’re standing here blocking me from reaching my Ultimate Spiderman trade just because you failed to make one crucial decision before you entered my world son…..Marvel or DC?
At this point, I really could and would much rather leave you standing there looking stupid wit’ yo’ stupid self but I take pity on you and tell you that the comic book universe you choose to predominantly follow says a lot about you playa! If you choose DC, you’re picking the original super hero universe. They’ve got the heavy hitters like Superman; Wonder Woman and Batman in their roster. Most every super hero in this universe pretty much sticks to the script. They all have secret identities and super secret origins and secret weaknesses that’ll stop them cold. I know what you mean…it can get a little formulaic but sometimes, it’s good to have a routine. You can always bet that unless the story you’re reading has the word “crisis” (more on that later) in it, the Heroes of the DC universe will always put everything right back in it’s place when the big fight scene is over.
If that’s a little too old fashioned for you, there’s always Marvel aka the house that Stan built and then renovated, with all that movie money they’ve been raking in lately. The Marvel universe is the equivalent of what southern rappers act like Atlanta is, you know, generally a place where hope goes to die. If Superman stops a plane from falling on top of a school bus full of orphans being menaced by Osama Bin Laden and it happened in the Marvel universe, he would be immediately hunted down by our government and then experimented on until we found out what makes him tick. The Marvel universe is a scarier place than DC. Heroes here don’t have fans.
So what’s it gonna be chief? You wanna sleep on it? I understand, here’s my card. Hit me up anytime, but for right now, I’m gonna need you to move so I can reach these comics.